Awhile
by Whisper-of-Warning
Summary: To lie in their lover's arms and let the world go on without them. Before they would have to ready themselves for the war. Before they would have to fight to the death. For now, as Clary ran her fingers through Jace's hair and his arms encircled her waist, they were fine. I am coming. And I am waiting. But for now they would just lie together. Just for awhile. Prequel to Soon.


**Hey, everyone! So a lot of people really liked Soon and I thought what the hay I'll write a prequel and sequel to it! This is the prequel, I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer****: Sadly, I don't own Jace...I know I'm as sad as you are.**

**Sebastian****: **_Italics_

**Clary: _Bold Italics_**

**Enjoy!**

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The Institute was a tangling mess of corridors and mysterious hallways that led to dead ends. Clary Morgenstern, one of the Institute's many residents, would joke about dying from starvation because she could never seem to find the kitchen. To which her boyfriend, Jace Lightwood, would simply smirk and pull her close, his poetic lips placed delicately on top of her head to leave a small kiss before reassuring her that would never occur seeing as he would never let that happen.

He would never let anything bad happen to her.

He would never let anyone hurt her.

But she knew he couldn't stop him. No matter how much he wanted too. And she knew deep in her heart she couldn't truly stop him either.

_Erchomai._

_I am coming._

Clary let her fingertips run softly against the small piece of paper. In truth, it seemed completely harmless. It looked like a simple sheet of paper written on in golden ink, it looked like it was written by student or prankster. It didn't look like a death threat; it didn't seem to be an impending doom.

But it was.

And it was just for her.

She had cut him down, made him fall to his knees. If she closed her eyes she could still hear his howling scream as it shook the battlefield. She could still picture his body pressed against hers, entrapping her and pinning her to the floor; making her lose feeling in her hands from where he squeezed her wrists so hard. She could still feel herself suffocating under him as he crushed her with his entire being.

She, absolutely, hated her brother.

Jonathon Morgenstern.

Clary let out a harsh laugh as it echoed throughout the library, her small hand tightening into a fist.

Sebastian Morgenstern.

She wanted to watch him fall again.

She wanted to watch as he died.

As he burned.

She wanted to be the one to do it too. But she knew Jace had a greater chance of making him crumble, he had done it once. But could he truly do it again? She remembered when Jace had stumbled toward where she kneeled before Valentine so long ago, remembered the bruises on his beautiful face; the blood that crusted to his clothes and skin. He was strong enough once, but could he be again? Could he collect the strength and the courage to finish Sebastian again?

One thing was for certain, she would not let him do it alone. Not only so she could feel Sebastian's life bleed out under her fingertips. To hear the heavens sing in victory and the devil cry as it watched its beloved son fall. She wanted that more than anything.

But that wasn't why she was determined to not let Jace do this alone. That was because she couldn't stand the thought of him standing before Sebastian about to battle and have the outcome be unknown; because she didn't know if she could watch him die again, because she couldn't chance it. She wasn't strong enough; Jace would take too large a part of her with him. She would be nothing but the shell of the girl she once was. Jace Lightwood had taken over her body, mind and heart. She couldn't part from him even if she wanted too, which she didn't. He was her air.

As simple as that.

It didn't matter if she wasn't trained enough, it didn't matter if she was putting herself at risk. She would stand with him when the Shadowhunters were gathered on the frontier and lead them into battle. She would not leave Jace, she simply couldn't. She would gain her strength from him, she would fight for him.

Clary uncurled her hand from its fist and watched as the crimpled paper fluttered lightly from her hand onto the top of Hodge's old desk. The dark maple wood seemed out of place in the modernized area, but here it sat completely clean. Jace refused to let it get dusty, saying it would be a dishonor if they let Hodge's desk get dirty; he never liked it that way.

She stared with hateful eyes at the simple sheet of paper. It was her very destruction; it was a message completely for her.

_Erchomai._

_I am coming._

She could practically hear him whispering it in her ear; see the twisting, feral grin on his face. "I am coming, Clarissa. We are the same; you and I."

_**We are not the same. You belong to Lilith; you belong to blood and fear. I belong to Jace.**_

_**I belong to love.**_

"What has you so enraged, my sweet?"

Clary felt, for the first time since waking up, a smile grace her face. She felt large, pianist-like fingers slipping over the sleeves of her shirt before pulling them down and revealing her bare shoulders; the calluses on his fingertips stroking her skin and enlightening her body with pleasure. She shivered at the contact as Jace's fingers moved her curly, red hair over her shoulder and placed a kiss over the heated skin.

Clary sighed as she closed her eyes. This was all he needed to do; give her a kiss, a simple brushing of skin and he had her melted into a puddle. He placed his chin on her shoulder as he looked down at the sheet of paper in front of her. His jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth together, she could feel the tension against her skin, his golden eyes darkening with anger.

Clary knew he was thinking of the same things she had as the hand that he had placed on her hip tightened, like he was going to simply grab her and run. So, that Sebastian could never have her, because she was his.

"It's hopeless, isn't it?" The words she whispered hung in the air between them.

She felt Jace lift his head more than saw him as he took her chair and spun her around. He lifted her easily as she wrapped her legs around his waist and placed her head in the cock of his neck.

She fit so well there, like he had been designed just for her. She fit perfectly under his head when they hugged or cuddled close. She had explored all the places that made his toes curl like the curve of his neck, the top of his chest, just below his ear or over his collarbone. She knew Jace. But knowing him was never enough. She wanted to taste him and feel him within every part of her. She wanted to be inked into every memory and every fiber of his being. She wanted not to know him; she wanted to be one with him.

Mentally. Emotionally.

Physically.

But the heat wouldn't let her; the fire that roared inside of him, that heavenly fire. The fire she had cursed him with, just as she had cursed Simon. She made a decision for him, one he had no choice in; the guilt would eat at her forever. But she knew she wasn't the only one to blame.

He was too.

That vile, grotesque creature with a man's face.

She may have been to blame but as was her brother.

To be a Morgenstern was to be damned.

What if she hindered him? What if she was the reason for his downfall? How could she live with that? She couldn't be poison to the man she loved, she just couldn't. But wasn't she?

Jace placed her gently on his bed, her back pressed against the soft pillows there. He didn't remove her from him as his body hovered over hers. They lay there for how long, Clary didn't know, not saying a word. Simply thinking about her question; Clary thought, also, of the inner demons that wrecked havoc on her mind. Pressed together, so intimately, every part of Jace placed against hers. She could feel his belt digging into her stomach and the way their chests brushed together when they breathed. She kept her face buried in his neck, just simply breathing him in. He smelt of love and sunshine. He was her future.

He had to be.

"I am going to ruin you." Clary didn't know why she said it, only that she knew it was true the moment it left her lips. Jace stiffened a moment before pulling away from her hair, which he had been buried in, and stared down at her. The only light in the room was from the fading sun, reflecting off Jace's hair in fragmented colors of orange and purple. She inched to draw him now, with the sun making his hair glow like a halo, for he was truly an angel.

She was simply pretending to be one.

"You already have." Jace said his fingers were brushing her cheeks gently, removing the tears she hadn't known she let fall. "But in the most wonderful way."

Clary shook her head. "I'm a Morgenstern. I am completely damned." She closed her eyes, unable to watch as his eyes turned dark with hate. She couldn't bare it, when she told him of how she was ruined. Of how her blood was tainted, he knew who's daughter she was but he would never know to what extent Valentine's blood had on her. She was broken, destroyed, damaged.

Jace didn't say anything and Clary felt the wait to be too long as she opened her eyes, if only to see his face one last time before he cast her away. He was looking at her with an insurmountable amount of love and it made Clary's heart leap up to her throat at the sight. She couldn't hinder him, she couldn't watch him fall.

"As am I, more so than you, I believe."

Clary frowned. "You may have been raised by him but you will never have to suffer with his," Her face contorted with disgust as she crinkled her nose. "Boiling blood in your veins."

"I think my blood is the one boiling, Clary. I am the one with inner fire after all." He tapped his finger lightly against her freckled nose.

"I'm being serious." Clary unlocked her legs and pushed Jace away before standing up. She couldn't think clearly with him touching her, but she had to make him understand. He had to know.

"So am I."

"Sebastian's right." Clary stared at the door, with her back to Jace; her arms were crossed across her chest. "To an extent. He and I we're alike. We have the same tainted blood, we feel the same blood lust—"

"Just because you're both Valentines children doesn't make you the same—"

Clary spun, enraged, as she fisted her hands at her sides. "I will kill him. I am going to watch as his blood spills across the ground. I am going to take my sword and I am going to push it into his chest until the hilt of the blade can move no further. I am going to make him watch as his entire being burns." Clary dropped her face into her hands. "And I feel no remorse. I feel no guilt. I only feel satisfaction. How can you tell me we're not the same? How can you look at me and not see him?"

Jace, again, didn't speak for a moment. Like he was gather just what he wanted to say to her, like he was getting the words right in his head. He placed his hands on her hips delicately, as if not to scare her and brought her closer, until she stood directly between his legs.

"Do you want to know how you're not the same?" Jace took his hands off her hips to gently pull her hands from her face, Clary brought her tear strained face to Jace's golden one as he stared at her with nothing but understanding; with nothing but love. "Because you are everything good, Clary. When I look at you, I don't see evil or destruction. I see life and love. You are so full of goodness and kindness. Sure, you're a little reckless." Clary smiled a little as Jace grinned at her. With him sitting on the bed it made them the same exact height. "And so what if all your plans involve supreme craziness—"

"Jace—" Clary groaned but never finished as Jace took her face in his hands.

"But you do everything you do for the people you love. You risk it all to help keep the people you care about save. That's what makes you different. Because you would never sacrifice the people that mean the most to you for anything." Jace placed a kiss on top of her forehead before he replaced his lips with his own forehead staring deeply into her eyes. "You could never be damned. No matter what. Not even biology can beat the heavens. You were born an angel, Clarissa Morgenstern. My angel."

And just like that, he had left her speechless. He had said all the right things and settled the corruption in her mind. He placed his lips lightly against hers before pulling away. "But—"

"But nothing." Jace stared into her eyes, waiting for her to comprehend what he was saying. His hair was catching the last bit of light from the fading sun; his eyes seemed to glow off the deep orange and purple colors that radiated from that fading light. "I am going to be there when you strike him down, Clary. I'm going to help." His eyes seemed to ignite, in that moment, in a righteous blaze; she watched as the fire within Jace flared to life. She felt the hands on her hips began to heat up and her body warming with them. "We'll do it for the real Sebastian Verlac, we'll do it for Hodge, Amatis." Jace let out a slight whimper as he swallowed and clenched his teeth together, the hands on her hips digging into her skin. "We'll do it for, Max. We'll spread his blood across the battlefield for them. We will. Together."

Clary stared at Jace as his eyes gave her a promise, as they soothed every demon that had waged war inside her mind; she hooked one leg around his waist before she hooked the other and straddled Jace close, her head was slightly above his now causing him to raise his head up. "Promise?"

Jace laughed, the fire in his eye diminishing but the head from his body still there. "I already love you." Clary smiled before biting her bottom lip. "What more of a promise do you need?"

She smiled as she lowered her head to his, capturing his lips with hers. They had always been good at this, but now this seemed to hinder them too. She wanted to push Jace down on the bed and explore all the other parts she hadn't got to yet.

His hands moved with slow caresses to her hair as he pulled her closer. Clary couldn't help but let her hands move to the buttons of his shirt where they undid just a few, just enough so she could feel the skin of his chest and the hard muscles that coiled with tension. She felt Jace take in a breath and let out a slight groan, his fingers digging into her scalp.

She could feel it coming. The heat as they began to grow frantic, letting their hands travel anywhere they wanted; memorizing, their lip crashing against each others, their tongues dancing and their bodies rubbing. She could feel the heat growing, could feel the sparks that shocked her body.

Jace pulled away first, he was always the one to pull away. They sat panting, still entangled in each other, their foreheads pressed together.

"I want you," Jace groaned, his eyes squeezed shut. "By the Angel, I want you so bad. And I can't have you. I can never have you."

Clary hushed him as she crawled toward the pillows on his bed and held out her arms for him, he came to her without question and laid his head on her chest, just above her beating heart. She lightly placed a soft kiss to the top of his head before she lightly ran her fingers through his silky curls. It was dark now, the moon shining little light into Jace's room. They would stay like this for awhile. Not saying a word, just being together. Just existing.

Before reality set in again.

To lie in their lover's arms and let the world go on without them.

Before they would have to ready themselves for the war.

Before they would have to fight to the death.

For now, as Clary ran her fingers through Jace's hair and his arms encircled her waist, they were fine.

_I am coming._

_**And I am waiting.**_

But for now they would just lie together.

Just for awhile.

* * *

**Sorry, that it's kinda short but I figured it was okay since I put Jace in most of it ;)**

**Okay, so it seems I always demand you review but what do you get out of it?**

**So I've decided to ask a question every time I post a story. Cool?**

**So how about... if you could choose to be a polarbear-sabertooth-hybrid or a megalodon-crocodile-robot, which would you choose? **

**Also, I'm sorry for all the spelling errors, I don;t have a beta and I do all the editing myself.**

**Anyway, bye and I can't wait to see your answers!**


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